Jay Chanoine

Comedian & Pessimist

16,789,435 Dirty Looks Produced



I Am Not Stalking John Stamos

“It’s really not funny anymore,” my wife tells me. “It’s kind of sad.” “Sad?” I reply, “How is it sad?” “Because,” her voice is low now, like we’re having this conversati… Read More

The Empire Smokes Crack : A Press Release

(DISCLAIMER: I do not work for any company mentioned here in any capacity, nor have I ever. This is a work of fiction and is not to be taken seriously or even looked at for extended periods of time.) … Read More

A Letter To Beck Hansen

"Can't you hear those cavalry drums Hijacking your equilibrium Midnight snacks in the mausoleum Where the pixilated doctors moan" Beck - "Sexx Laws" Dear Beck, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING AB… Read More

An Interesting Way To Ask For Juice

The year was 1991. I was excited. Having recently discarded my kindergarten-overalls for a pair of big-boy-pants, I found myself at the dawn of a new era. Public school had arrived. Having a September… Read More